Post by BeautifulDreamer on Aug 26, 2011 17:36:38 GMT -5
Let me tell you all a story...................... i guess you could call it my story. in fact i think i will.
i was born 2 months early.................... and stuck in an incubator........ my mom wasn't allowed to see me for like a week or so...........................but that turnd out just fine
my mother was 18 when she had me........... but my parents go married before that because she was pregnate with me................
there mareage did not last even 5 years.
my mother got custidoy but i was allways a daddys girl.
my mom was never ment to be a mother.
everyone says it. i was practically raising my slef.
i would lie to my mother to tell her what she wanted to hear becuz i was affraid of her
once she stared screaming in my face and backed me up agaist a wall still screaming at me. i was idk mabye 10
i would go to school everymorning crying and hide in the bathroom for about an hour cuz she allways droped me off early.
the day i didn't think about comeing out was when she threatend to put me up for adoption. that was in 3rd grade.
my mom lost her job and bribed me to moveing in with our grandparents by giving my best friend at the time the best birthday present i was moveing back home. there i met Amber Kirsten and Kori. whom i would not be here today if i had never met.
that lead on to my middle school days. ware i was trying to make up for all of my years of being away from home and trying to live it up and trying to ...well take over. because that was the onlything i knew how to do. was to act like my mom. i was a down right bitch with only two friends Amber and that best friend that i moved back for
my mom randomly push it on me when we went back up to Novi (former place of liveing) for a visit. that she didn't want me to go back.
so there i was forced to move away from everyone. i screamed and became abusive. to all thoes who were around me....... expecialy my mother. i would run she would chase me and catch me i would try and pull out her hair and kick and sceam a true horror story.
but that place. scared it out of me. the things that the people she workd for did. and they pulled her into it. and attempted to pull me in. the said alians were going to come and kill us all and when that time comes there is nothing we can do to stop it. so we are hopless....... and we are all just going to die...............
the day when they thought alien were over us i met my cat. they let me hold her becuz they said aliens hate cats..........
they all ready had a cat and a dog....... and this precious little kitty has to be the only pet or she'll get jellous. so they gave her to me and i still have her and she is my precious adorible kitty.
but they scared me out of the abusive part. but the didn't know that there own yungest daughter was the most frightening part. a seven year old gril........ cant wright read or even know the alphabet nothing...........i tried to teach and faild.
one day. i was bulking the food.......oh right i had to work or i couldn't eat.....and i wasn't in school. and then they started blameing me for them loosing custemers becuse i was anerexic.
any way back on topic. she got mad at me becuse i sat down................... a ran and hid in the only rooom with a lock wile she chased affter me with a knife. i locked the door. she slid it under the door and just barely miss my feet before i jumped in a chair and hid in there for the rest of the day.
who kept in contact with me? Amber only Amber
not even my own father. thats when i began to despise my dads side of the family. becuse he said he'd come and take me home... hed fight for custody.........and he never came
then my mom was fired i knew it was comeing i was just waiting i knew i was going to go back home. i just didn't know when. i was just waiting patiently.
and one day we just packed up our things and here we are. home.
so i had a major fear of talking to people becuse everytime i talked to someone i was screamed at.
so when i started school (keep in mind i didn't have my middle school years so i was way behind) i was in highschool and it was as if i never left.
i made better friends with amber, kirstin, and Kori.
but during my freshmen year i stuck to amber like glue
then i slowly became independet and trusted my self but i only got there becuse of these three people.
they help me threw everything..........even when all ofasuden my dads family came back in to my life..........all in one day............... all of thoes feelings were being pushed to the serfece. abandonment.
sarrow.
fear.
curisosty.
but they were there for me
i still have work to do on myself. i still have truble talking to people. but i'm not as bad as i was.
because
AMBER
KIRSTIN
KORI
were there for me
were there to help me
were there to heal me
this is why i have put my new name I Am A Hurricane
because when you get me
you get all of me
i have stoped trying to change for what everyone thinks i should be. and started to change. for what is better for me.
were there to bring out the me that was hidding beneath all the truble and fear out of me
then i think back
now affter i'm gaining my confidence and going for what i want on my own i can't help but think
what did i do
FOR THEM?
??
and so i put this on the internet
were it shall stay forever as a memory that can never be erased
i was born 2 months early.................... and stuck in an incubator........ my mom wasn't allowed to see me for like a week or so...........................but that turnd out just fine
my mother was 18 when she had me........... but my parents go married before that because she was pregnate with me................
there mareage did not last even 5 years.
my mother got custidoy but i was allways a daddys girl.
my mom was never ment to be a mother.
everyone says it. i was practically raising my slef.
i would lie to my mother to tell her what she wanted to hear becuz i was affraid of her
once she stared screaming in my face and backed me up agaist a wall still screaming at me. i was idk mabye 10
i would go to school everymorning crying and hide in the bathroom for about an hour cuz she allways droped me off early.
the day i didn't think about comeing out was when she threatend to put me up for adoption. that was in 3rd grade.
my mom lost her job and bribed me to moveing in with our grandparents by giving my best friend at the time the best birthday present i was moveing back home. there i met Amber Kirsten and Kori. whom i would not be here today if i had never met.
that lead on to my middle school days. ware i was trying to make up for all of my years of being away from home and trying to live it up and trying to ...well take over. because that was the onlything i knew how to do. was to act like my mom. i was a down right bitch with only two friends Amber and that best friend that i moved back for
my mom randomly push it on me when we went back up to Novi (former place of liveing) for a visit. that she didn't want me to go back.
so there i was forced to move away from everyone. i screamed and became abusive. to all thoes who were around me....... expecialy my mother. i would run she would chase me and catch me i would try and pull out her hair and kick and sceam a true horror story.
but that place. scared it out of me. the things that the people she workd for did. and they pulled her into it. and attempted to pull me in. the said alians were going to come and kill us all and when that time comes there is nothing we can do to stop it. so we are hopless....... and we are all just going to die...............
the day when they thought alien were over us i met my cat. they let me hold her becuz they said aliens hate cats..........
they all ready had a cat and a dog....... and this precious little kitty has to be the only pet or she'll get jellous. so they gave her to me and i still have her and she is my precious adorible kitty.
but they scared me out of the abusive part. but the didn't know that there own yungest daughter was the most frightening part. a seven year old gril........ cant wright read or even know the alphabet nothing...........i tried to teach and faild.
one day. i was bulking the food.......oh right i had to work or i couldn't eat.....and i wasn't in school. and then they started blameing me for them loosing custemers becuse i was anerexic.
any way back on topic. she got mad at me becuse i sat down................... a ran and hid in the only rooom with a lock wile she chased affter me with a knife. i locked the door. she slid it under the door and just barely miss my feet before i jumped in a chair and hid in there for the rest of the day.
who kept in contact with me? Amber only Amber
not even my own father. thats when i began to despise my dads side of the family. becuse he said he'd come and take me home... hed fight for custody.........and he never came
then my mom was fired i knew it was comeing i was just waiting i knew i was going to go back home. i just didn't know when. i was just waiting patiently.
and one day we just packed up our things and here we are. home.
so i had a major fear of talking to people becuse everytime i talked to someone i was screamed at.
so when i started school (keep in mind i didn't have my middle school years so i was way behind) i was in highschool and it was as if i never left.
i made better friends with amber, kirstin, and Kori.
but during my freshmen year i stuck to amber like glue
then i slowly became independet and trusted my self but i only got there becuse of these three people.
they help me threw everything..........even when all ofasuden my dads family came back in to my life..........all in one day............... all of thoes feelings were being pushed to the serfece. abandonment.
sarrow.
fear.
curisosty.
but they were there for me
i still have work to do on myself. i still have truble talking to people. but i'm not as bad as i was.
because
AMBER
KIRSTIN
KORI
were there for me
were there to help me
were there to heal me
this is why i have put my new name I Am A Hurricane
because when you get me
you get all of me
i have stoped trying to change for what everyone thinks i should be. and started to change. for what is better for me.
were there to bring out the me that was hidding beneath all the truble and fear out of me
then i think back
now affter i'm gaining my confidence and going for what i want on my own i can't help but think
what did i do
FOR THEM?
??and so i put this on the internet
were it shall stay forever as a memory that can never be erased
I'm all T.T